Yes, just as the title implies. What goes up must come down, eh? Well, fuck you, gravity. Kiss my white-girl ass. I fucking hate your stupid ass. Why can't you at least give me a week? A week where I'm up, even three feet off the ground. That's all I ask. I just want to stay UP for a while.

But no. You let things stay low, and then you go up, making me happier. More.. lively, in a sense. And I almost feel like I'm flying. Like nothing could bring me down. You let me get higher and higher, better and better, and when I'm happy.. When I feel that nothing else could go wrong and I'll just spend my time being happy -- even for a little while.. Boom. Down you go, pulling me with you.

Why am I complaining about the age-old infliction called Gravity?

..because it's ruining my life. Gravity of life, rather.

I can't stay happy. I have so many things that I want to do right now.. I've got a passport I need to get, but I can't get that without my stepfather complaining about me having a job and being a high school drop-out. I can't get my damned GED cause it's too fucking complicated, which speaking of the FUCKING complication, don't even REMIND me about the damned Immigration Canada website. I need a Letter of Invitation, I don't. I have to get a damned visa, then I don't. It's just like fucking Gravity.

I find out something that makes me so happy I start crying in the middle of the public library.. only to find out something that puts me lower than the foundation of my house. Which is sunken, so yeah. -crying right now-

And come to think of it, I can't please anyone. I try to work and run my thread, and try to enforce one rule, and it pisses someone off because I did so. And then when I try to defend my friends over it, I get chewed out.

Someone answer me a fucking question, seriously.. What does life want from me? I just.. I can't fucking TAKE it anymore. This is tearing me in two. And I was already in three.. Fuck fifths, and fuck this shit. I'm so tired of being yelled at because FOR SOME REASON THAT I CAN'T FUCKING CONTROL I haven't gotten calls back for jobs yet. I'm so tired of being misunderstood..

..can someone just shoot me and get it over with? I'm so tired of this.. I can only play Superwoman for so long.. I just want... things to go my way. Eighteen years, things have been stacked against me.

I talk religiously to people about doubting that they'll be paid back for their patience.. That they'll be rewarded for dealing with all the shit and pain, and sorrow in their lives. The back-stabbing, the hate and misplaced guilt trips.. Molestation, kidnapping, and anything else that could happen to them in the course of their fifty plus years on this rock we call our Earth -- which we happen to be destroying..

But what am I supposed to do when I doubt myself? Who's gonna convince me otherwise.. Cause I'm sure as hell not getting anywhere..